Long time coming
I haven’t had a good rant in a while.
I need to stop getting fucked up every chance i get, there is more to life then that i just love to escape reality.
I miss my dad well actually i miss the part of his personality that was fun. I miss him doing his little noises and doing little things to fuck with me while driving and somehow not crashing the car every time i hit him back for it.
I miss my family, i miss my brother and my sisters, i miss everyone. But i dont miss the pain, i dont miss the abuse the shitty attitude, the constant bullshit, the stupid rules and then fact that i could barely do shit that everyone else my age was doing.
I had the constant control he tried to have over me, it was crushing.
I want to visit them again but i cant bring myself to look my dad in the face and just forget everything thats happened.
I’m afraid of him, he’s so quick to turn for the worst.
And on to the next problem in my life, LOVE…
Why cant I have love? I’ve been losing weight because every time i lost more i noticed more people wanted to talk to me, i feel better about myself now that i’m losing weight.
I just want someone to like me, i want someone to make me feel wanted.
I’ve been in love only once, and then they hurt me.. crushed me… i just want someone to love again
